39 Funny Tax Day Quotes That’ll Have You Laughing Until You Get Your Refund
April 7, 2022
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In the past, you got a few extra days to get your taxes done this year, but that didn’t necessarily make tax day any more fun. Watching your hard-earned money go to the government, no matter what good comes from it, is bound to make you want to scream, but with a few funny tax day quotes, you may be able to make through April 15.
It’s not hard to laugh at taxes. People have been making fun of them for years. I can’t count the number of television shows that pick fun at taxes during an episode, but one of my favorites is Roseanne. Waiting in line at the IRS to find out the rules for a form, being redirected to the massive tax law book, and fighting against the “man?” That’s what tax day is all about!
OK, and it’s also about paying what you owe to Uncle Sam so you can help fund the ongoing highway construction that makes you late to work every day, the Social Security that people claim you’re never going to see in our lifetime, and help support the defense operations many don’t even agree with. Yay taxes!
Don’t get too depressed. Taxes are taxes, and to make it feel a little lighter, here are some funny tax day quotes so you don’t cry into your forms. Here’s to hoping for a nice refund.
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.” — Herman Wouk
“Isn’t it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool’s Day and ends with cries of May Day?” — Robert Knauerhase
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.” — Mick Jagger
“There is no such thing as a good tax.” — Winston Churchill
“It’s easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.” — Unknown
“If you think you can keep everything to yourself. . . the IRS doesn’t.” — Unknown
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.” — Craig Ferguson
“Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.” — Gerald Barzan
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.” — Unknown
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.” — Unknown
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.” — Evan Esar
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.” — Soupy Sales
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.” — Unknown
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn’t be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking.” — Unknown
“They can’t collect legal taxes from illegal money.” — Al Capone
“The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.” — Barry Goldwater
“The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.” — Thomas Dewar
“I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age — which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.” — Noel Coward
“Intaxication: That nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.” — Unknown