Talk to Amy: I am in like with my son-in-law’s brother. Now I won’t be able to see my grandkid.

Expensive Amy: I am an more mature female who fell in like with a gentleman 17 many years young than me. I adore this guy with every thing I have. We achieved about five yrs back at my house during Thanksgiving.

However for us, his brother is married to my daughter.

I have basically raised their daughter from infancy she’s likely into 2nd quality this 12 months. When my boyfriend and I commenced viewing each individual other, my son-in-regulation made a decision he would punish me by preserving my granddaughter away from me. (She was 4 at the time.)

The force and agony I endured was frustrating and I broke up with the very first guy I have at any time loved, who I was entirely relaxed with, in get to expend time with my granddaughter.

Then, very last 12 months, my male and I reunited. I love him more each and every day, but the similar detail transpired once more — my granddaughter wasn’t allowed to occur to my home any longer and my son-in-regulation treats me like filth. So we broke up once more due to the fact the agony is practically unbearable for both of us.

I would like your ideas on this, remember to, mainly because I need to have help. I really do not want to are living a depressing existence without the need of the enjoy of my lifestyle.

Heartbroken: I’m heading to take it as a given that your spouse does not current any hazards to your granddaughter, and that your son-in-law’s therapy of you is a reflection of the rage he feels at his perception that you are encroaching upon his family.

Nowhere in this article do you point out your daughter, who is married to this controlling and abusive male. He is running to management the life of four men and women: his wife, his brother, you, and your granddaughter. Most likely it’s time that somebody stood up to him.

You just can’t stand up to him if your heart is aching and breaking, and so you will have to educate on your own to face up to the consequent separation. It may well enable if you see your individual alternative as sending a solid information to both of those your daughter and granddaughter: “I won’t permit him manage me.”

Reside your daily life. A counselor could enable you and your husband or wife to navigate the stress you come to feel. You must also check with with a lawyer. In my state, grandparents can file a legal petition for visitation.

Dear Amy: My extensive-ago ex-husband’s father a short while ago died.

Through our relationship, I was near to his siblings and dad and mom, and write-up-marriage we have preserved cordial, if rather distant, relationships. He and I share two kids, who are now in college or university. We are equally remarried (I imagine happily).

My ex and his sibling (who is arranging the memorial provider) have invited me to attend the service and reception afterward. The support is in a different metropolis, and I would journey there and would like to pay my respects, but I really don’t want to encroach on anyone’s grief, and I do not want my existence to make anyone unpleasant.

Our kids will be there and will keep with their father and his wife for a couple days. What do your instincts explain to you about this?

Wanting to know: You have been invited, and I consider it’s a good strategy to show up at, if you want to. Operate this previous your small children, and let them know that you understand they will be with their father through this interval.

I attended the memorial celebration for my ex’s parent, under really comparable conditions. I kept to the fringes of the provider and reception, compensated my respects individually, and then quietly slipped out (and then stopped at a nearby bar and enjoyed a stiff consume).

This felt like the turning of a web site on an critical chapter of my individual everyday living, and I am glad I did it. I hope you will experience the same.

Dear Amy: Thank you for your reasoned reaction to “Next Location Mother,” whose daughter experienced invited Dad on an special “father/daughter” trip.

I appreciated your suggestion that the daughter may have discovered that her dad experienced aged a large amount in involving their exceptional meetings. This took place with my father. He appeared to age a decade in a calendar year, and I panicked about spending distinctive time with him. He fooled us all (thank goodness), and lived effectively for another 20 years.

Grateful: I’m joyful you two relished so quite a few “bonus” many years with each other.

© 2023 by Amy Dickinson. Dispersed by Tribune Content material Agency.