Tax

Trevor’s Best Quotes In GTA 5

Table of Contents

Highlights

  • Trevor’s unpredictable nature is showcased through his hilarious insults towards others, like questioning how someone got their job.
  • Trevor’s disturbing and creepy behavior, such as defiling a teddy bear, adds to his standout and memorable character traits.
  • Trevor’s disdain for authority, like mocking the cops and their “hard work,” highlights his disregard for rules and authority figures.



Trevor Philips is one of the most memorable video game characters in years. Known primarily for his viciously hot temper, brutal violence, and penchant for saying anything that pops into his head, he is every Grand Theft Auto player brought to life inside the game itself. As such, he has a myriad of amazing quotes, many of which are equally insulting, offensive, and hilarious. Unfortunately, it’s hard to pick just a few of them, because everything that comes out of his mouth is both purely horrifying and pure gold.

Related

10 Games That Use The Power Of Friendship To Save The Day

As in real life, having a good friend by your side is often invaluable. In these games, the power of friendship ultimately led to triumph.

Grand Theft Auto 5 is a game with stellar writing across the board, and the best way to experience this humorous writing firsthand is to spend some time with Trevor. This character is truly one-of-a-kind, being horrible to everyone around him… and yet, the sheer creativity of his insults is what makes Trevor such an incredible character in every way. There are so many endlessly quotable things he’s uttered in the games that are so hilarious that fans still can’t stop laughing to this day whenever he spouts these lines!


Updated on December 28, 2023 by Ritwik Mitra: Trevor is one of the most memorable video game characters of all time. Some people go so far as to label him the greatest playable character in Rockstar history, which is a testament to how beloved and unpredictable this character is. Rockstar brought their A-game when it came to writing this character, as seen in the many memorable lines of dialogue this crazy man utters throughout Grand Theft Auto 5’s wildly entertaining run.


22 “AAARGH, This Music’s All Wrong!”

When Listening To A Music Station He Doesn’t Like

trevor driving truck

A big part of what makes Trevor so unpredictable is that even the player doesn’t have complete control over his actions. The fact that the player can switch over to him, only to get caught in a myriad of situations, shows just how wild he is. He can get so cynical about everything that even the music blaring in a car can rub him the wrong way.


He utters this line in a completely unexpected yet memorable instance before switching the music to something else of his own accord! It’s one of the many ways in which this character shows how unpredictable this man is, making the simple act of switching over to his character so iconic that it’s one of the highlights of the games!

21 “Hey, Whose D*** You Have To Suck To Get This Job?”

One Of His Many Iconic Insults To Floyd

floyd from gta 5

As crazy as Trevor is, no one can delude themselves into thinking that he’s a nice person by any stretch of the imagination. A man like Michael was so fed up with his antics that he had to fake his own death to get away from a man who was too much of a loose cannon for his own good.


Trevor doesn’t shy away from harassing and abusing the people close to him, including his cousin. Floyd is a pitiable character who begrudgingly helps Trevor after the maniac goes to Los Santos in a bid to find Michael. Trevor berates this man every step of the way, questioning his capability and hilariously wondering out loud if Floyd had to resort to some unscrupulous means to secure his gig.

20 “Now Mr. Raspberry Jam, He Died A Noble Death — Bringing Great Joy To A… Lonely Man.”

Taking About A Teddy Bear That He’s Done Some Horrible Things To

Mr. Raspberry Jam in Grand Theft Auto 5

Trevor is truly one of the craziest characters in the entire game. He’s pretty disturbing as well, although that’s part of the reason why this character is so memorable. The fact that he defiled a teddy bear and talks about it in such a creepy manner is classic Trevor and one of the major reasons why he’s such a standout character in the game


Poor Mr. Raspberry Jam has seen better days and the fact that this ripped-up teddy bear comes attached to the bonnet of Trevor’s car after certain story events make this toy’s fate quite morbidly hilarious indeed. It’s a testament to how entertaining his dialogue is that Trevor still ends up being so likable after performing such a heinous act!

19 “Ahh… My Tax Dollars Hard At Work.”

After Attracting The Attention Of The Cops

An image from Grand Theft Auto 5 showing Trevor on a quad bike while he holds a sniper rifle.

Cops in Grand Theft Auto 5 are some of the smartest and most savage cops that have ever appeared in the entire series. They never fail to let the player know that things are about to get haywire and they need to either escape the heat or roll with the punches and push this system to the very limit.


Related

Every Grand Theft Auto Game (In Chronological Order)

Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto franchise spans more than 10 games and multiple decades. How do the titles rank in chronological order?

Whenever Trevor gets the cops’ attention, there’s a chance that he might utter this hilarious line. It’s pretty funny indeed and a great way to show just how much disregard Trevor has for the men in blue. For what it’s worth, this sentiment is echoed by the players as well, who love to lead cops on wild goose chases in Grand Theft Auto 5.

18 “You Have Clearly Lost Your Tiny Mind!”

If Either Frankin Or Trevor Tries To Harm Trevor

grand-theft-auto-5-franklin-trevor-michael

Grand Theft Auto 5 has some pretty unique interactions that people could miss out on if they don’t engage in some extremely aggressive acts against their friends. Most people know about the phone calls that the other two characters get if they start shooting up or bombing Michael’s house… but this behavior has been coded for other characters as well.


For example, if either Micheal or Franklin starts shooting at Trevor, the madman outright belittles their tiny mind. It’s a small but great touch that makes the universe and characters of Grand Theft Auto 5 feel all the more believable and immersive. It also makes for a great moment as fans get to explore more of the impeccable dialogue that Rockstar has written for Trevor.

17 “Weed. Weed. I’d Rather Suck C*** Than Smoke Weed, And I’ve Done Both.”

A Hilarious Line Uttered By Trevor While Denouncing Marijuana

Trevor Phillips in Grand Theft Auto 5

It’s surprising that Trevor of all people holds such a strong opinion about marijuana. After all, it’s not a stretch to say that he’s done every drug ever made under the setting sun, so to see him up in arms over a little pot is pretty odd.


It’s also hilarious, especially when players hear the colorful language he uses to describe the hatred he harbors for the greens. Steven Ogg did an excellent job of portraying Trevor, and this iconic line is one of the many examples to prove just how talented a voice actor he is.

16 “I’m Beyond KALE, Alright? It’s Too Late For KALE!”

While Talking To Amanda

GTA V - Trevor and Michael's Family

Trevor is a man of certain tastes, as he made abundantly clear to Michael during their first reunion after the surprised family man suggested kale as the answer to Trevor’s problems. That just wasn’t going to cut it. Trevor said as much, further revealing his tastes tended to lean towards “crank, cannibalism, and incest.”


Related

Grand Theft Auto 5: 18 Best Radio Stations, Ranked

While cruising around Los Santos, crank up one of these stations to give GTA 5 some great background music.

He was way past kale doing him any good, which is fairly obvious by his listed choice of illegal and disturbing vices that only scratch the surface of Trevor’s unique depravities. How this dialogue is phrased is very much classic Trevor and shows just how little he cares about the opinions of others.

15 “I Said Something Nice, Not Something Expensive!”

Pretending To Be Charming With Denise Only To Disappoint Her

GTA V - Trevor and Denise

One of Trevor’s most unforgettable moments comes when he calls on Franklin at his house to hang out since he’s new in town and interacts with his Aunt Denise for the first time. Trevor lays on the charm and quickly endears himself to the usually contentious woman, which is rather fitting since only Trevor could be nice to someone as vile and hateable as Denise.


Trevor even-handed Denise some money so she could buy herself something nice. However, when she questioned the low $7 amount, the charm quickly turned into Trevor’s usual behavior as he berated her for her greediness and told her to beat it, in less friendly terms. Fans who were surprised to see Trevor be so nice were instantly reminded of his true nature in a clever way that only Rockstar’s writing could’ve pulled off.

14 “I’ll Swing By And Sign The Contracts, Alright? Just Ignore The Bodies!”

After Saving Mr. Cheng From The Varrios Los Aztecas

Trevor Grand Theft Auto 5

Now, doesn’t this quote just sum Trevor up beautifully? First and foremost, he tries to be a legitimate businessman. Well, about as legitimate as his line of business gets, anyway. He wants to “swing by” and “sign some contracts,” which is typical businessmen speak.


But then he just has to go all Trevor on us by telling his business partner to “ignore the bodies.” As in, dead bodies. As in, the people that Trevor has murdered. It’s a hilarious quote that nicely shows the dichotomy of Trevor, and it proves that, above all else, Trevor is an unhinged guy.

13 “Don’t You Ever Not Tell Me Things I Wanna Know!”

After Wade Tells Him About Michael’s Life In Los Santos

GTA V - Trevor and Wade

One of the first looks into the unique mind of Trevor Philips occurs before his reunion with his former partner Michael De Santa, who he thought was dead after a shootout with the police years earlier thanks to a cover story by the Witness Protection Program.


Related

Grand Theft Auto 5: 10 Mods That Make It A Completely Different Game

There is no shortage of mods available for GTA 5. Some of them drastically alter how the game plays, much to the delight of the fans.

Trevor had his friend/underling Wade track down Michael in Los Santos (using the phone book). Instead of rewarding him for the information like Wade himself assumed, Trevor beat and punished his “friend” for not telling him the information before he requested it. This is a pretty great introduction to Trevor’s unique management skills.

12 “You Look Like You Struggle With Simple Tasks.”

A Random Insult To One Of Los Santos’ Many Citizens

Trevor in GTA 5

Sometimes the most hilarious insults are the simplest. Trevor has many random insults at the ready to unleash on unsuspecting citizens of Los Santos, one of which is simple but hilarious, “you look like you struggle with simple tasks.”


Maybe what makes it so funny is that it is so unlike Trevor. While he usually resorts to horrible curse words, strings of profanity, or threats of violence, this insult is simple, clean, and to the point. It’s like something one would hear a child say and burst out laughing despite their better nature. Well done, Trevor. Well done.

11 *”No, I’m Not Funny… I’m A F****** A******. I… Had A Difficult Childhood…”

After Trying To Get One Back At Franklin Who Laughed After He Tripped

Trevor falls over scene GTA V

One of the greatest moments in GTA 5 comes when Trevor and Franklin strike up a partnership, engaging in a wealth of missions and jobs that help their bond deepen over time. One such memorable instance comes when Trevor greets Franklin in an inappropriate manner that is completely in line with his character… only to fail spectacularly when he tries to vault over the fence. He trips and falls, making for a hilarious scene that causes Franklin to burst out laughing.


Given how unhinged Trevor is, it’s only a given that he ends up lashing out at Franklin for laughing at him, who apologizes soon after. Trevor tries to turn the tables on him by trying to catch him off-guard in a pathetic attempt to scare Franklin, which ends up being so lame that Trevor has a mini-breakdown of sorts. He laments his lack of humor before mentioning his difficult childhood, which is so hilarious that fans can’t help but love this character and his spontaneity even more!

10 “…But I Did Kidnap His Wife.”

Talking About Martin’s Wife To Michael

Martin Madrazo in GTA 5

If players do anything to get in Trevor Philips’ bad books, they better be ready to pay the consequences. Usually, that consequence is their death… but it could also be the kidnapping of their wife. While talking to Michael, Trevor admits that he “got a little angry” with Martin Madrazo, mostly because Martin got angry at him.


Knowing Trevor well, Michael asks him if he killed Martin. Trevor’s response is pure poetry: “What kinda f***ing animal do you take me for? No, I didn’t kill him! But I did kidnap his wife.” And the shoe drops. Because there’s always a shoe when it comes to Trevor Philips.

9 “…And Tell Him We’ll Need Chips And Dip And Prostitutes.”

Completely Discarding Floyd’s Complaints

GTA V - Trevor and Floyd

Trevor’s treatment of Wade also extends to his family, as the pair head to Los Santos and crash at Wade’s cousin Floyd’s condo, who is one of the most wholesome characters in the game. Of course, Trevor begins to slowly corrupt and use Floyd while systematically destroying his life.


Related

10 Things You Can Only Do In GTA V (With Mods)

Modding communities are known to create fun content for games, and Grand Theft Auto 5 is no exception. Here are some of the crazy things you can do.

When Floyd initially objects to his cousin about having criminals meet at his condo, Trevor shares his own two cents and gets ready to party in ways only he seems capable of understanding. Floyd’s role in the situation is sad but Trevor, as always, is hilariously unforgettable.

8 “You Made A Bit Of Money And You Became A Turd.”

One Of His Many Memorable Insults Directed At Michael

GTAV TREVOR QUOTES - Michael, Trevor and Franklin

The Grand Theft Auto series has always made for great satire, and Grand Theft Auto 5 is especially harsh towards the concepts of celebrity, wealth, material possessions, and the outward appearance of fortune and happiness. This is best summed up through the character of Michael, who uses his stashed millions to live a life of unhappy luxury in the Hollywood Hills.


Fortunately, Trevor can see right through Michael’s rich man exterior, telling him “You’re like every other a*****e. You made a bit of money, and you became a turd.” Now, doesn’t that just about sum up the vanity of Hollywood?

7 “Oh, By The Way, That’s Entirely Your Fault.”

After Bumping Into A Car

GTAV - Michael, Trevor and Franklin

This is another spectacular quote uttered by Trevor while simply driving down the street. It occurs after players accidentally (or intentionally, depending on how one plays) bump into another car. While they may apologize, Trevor will directly tell them that it was their fault, even if it most certainly was not.

Like the other insult, this one is hilarious because it is so simple. Getting into car accidents can be infuriating, and we’re sure conversations like this play out on city streets all the time.


6 “I Need To Meditate. Or M*********. Or Both.”

Talking To Ron After Hijacking A Cargo Plane

GTA V - Trevor and Ron

Trevor has a few associates he uses to help him with his company and criminal empire, including conspiracy theorist and podcast host Ron. The latter serves as CEO of Trevor Philips Enterprises and occasionally tips Trevor off about money-making opportunities.

Trevor revealed his post-criminal routines to Ron after a tense mission highjacking a cargo plane filled with weapons from Merryweather. Both activities, either separate or together, clearly and hilariously revealed to Ron that Trevor needed some time alone.

5 “I’m Cranked Out On Speed Most Of The Time, But I Am Productivity Personified.”

When Listening To A Music Station He Doesn’t Like

GTAV TREVOR QUOTES - Cranked Out On Speed


Well, there’s one thing that everyone can say about Trevor – the man is productive. Rather than wallowing like Michael or whining about his circumstances like Franklin, Trevor goes out there and gets stuff done. Usually, that involves causing mass amounts of destruction and murdering a lot of people, but hey, it’s still productive for Trevor!

Related

15 Facts You Didn’t Know About Franklin In Grand Theft Auto 5

It’s time to learn more about Franklin Clinton, one of the main characters in the popular and beloved game Grand Theft Auto 5.

Of course, the drugs obviously help, and Trevor admits as much in this gut-busting quote. Everyone appreciates Rockstar’s writing: he’s intelligent, he’s productive, and he’s hilarious, all three of which are nicely encapsulated in this quote.

4 “Me, I’m Not Rational.”

Part Of An Iconic Speech In The Deathwish Ending

Devin in GTA 5


As we’ve established, and as anyone who has played the game will tell them, Trevor Philips has a few screws loose. Fortunately, he is intelligent and self-aware enough to acknowledge that fact. It’s what makes him such a fascinating character.

This can be seen in his brilliant speech to Devin Weston during ending C. While Devin is pleading for his life, Trevor tells him, “Me, I’m not rational. I don’t care if you’re useful or not. I feel like taking you out, Devo, so that’s what I’m doing.” It’s a wonderful summation of Trevor’s character, and it makes us pump our fists despite ourselves. Devin Weston was a slimeball, and it was nice to hear him get his comeuppance at the hands of Trevor.

3 “F*** You, F*** Your Pizza, F*** Everything It Stands For!”

At The End Of The Mission ‘Bury The Hatchet’

Rockstar Games Trevor Philips


Now, this is the kind of hilarity players expect to hear from Trevor! Enough of that self-referential stuff. This quote comes at the end of the mission “Bury the Hatchet,” when Michael calls Trevor. To prevent Trevor from traveling to North Yankton, Michael offers him beer and pizza to smooth things over.

Naturally, Trevor isn’t having any of that and proceeds to yell the above quote at Michael. It’s not only hilarious, but it succinctly showcases where Trevor and Michael are at that point in their relationship. Trevor doesn’t want to see Michael, he doesn’t want to smooth things over, and he DEFINITELY doesn’t want his pizza.